Im undecided about how i feel. I dont know, wether i feel happy or sad, maybe i am sappy. Well why you ask, because i am sad for myself but happy for others. I dont want to be selfish and be like why did you leave and why arent you talking to me anymore, but i realized that everyone has to move on, i have to move on even though i am stuck in a little glass box, just waiting the day when i will be able to escape or when someone will help me out. But anyway, im happy for those who have helped me along the way of my troubles and i am pleased that most are doing fine, i dont know your current state of matter but i can feel it in my heart that you are ok. I am happy for those best friends that i had last year although you all have left me but i can understand the reason of some of you. One of my best friends left to pursue his carrer as a pianist, and although i am sad about him leaving me and not talking to me anymore, i understand that he had to go and i have to move on. I thank him for showing me what real friendship is all about. Although it may seem that him leaving me behind is not considered real friendship but what most dont know is that i encouraged him to go, i supported him all the way, even when he had doubts, i made him see that people here would be fine without him. What he did for us was good and were thankfull. You know i have never had a real bestfriend, who stays a best friend for years, yeah i know thats sad, but i have never met someone who stays my best friend forever. Oh well, i guess friendship comes and goes, but family is always family. Even though sometimes having a best friend would be better than having a family. Just Kidding.
Deception is one thing that i have lived with all my life. I dont know how to move away from that and i dont think i ever will learn to let it go.
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